1. Chicago Cubs’ outfielder Andre Dawson, on being a role model: “I wan all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan all dem kids to copulate me.”

2. New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers, when asked about the upcoming season: “I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards – whichever comes first.”

3. Upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the ‘Skins say: “I’d run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl,” ….
Matt Millen of the Raiders said: “To win, I’d run over Joe’s Mom, too.”

4. Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, about his coach, John Jenkins: “He treats us like men. He lets us wear ear rings.”

5. Football commentator & former player Joe Theismann, 1996: “Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.”

6. Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh : “I’m going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes.”

7. Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: “You guys line up alphabetically & by height.” And ..
“You guys pair-up – in groups of three – then line up in a circle.”

8. Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson hooking up again with promoter Don King: “Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton .”

9. Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks’ left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker: “That’s so, when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes.”

10. Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regime of heavyweight Andrew Golota:
“He’s a guy who gets up at 6:00 in the morning – regardless of what time it is.”

11.Chuck Nevitt , North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice: “My sister’s expecting a baby & I don’t know if I’m going to be an Uncle or an Aunt.”

12. Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, about a former player: “I told him, ‘Son, what is it with you – – is it ignorance or apathy?’ He said, “Coach, I don’t know and I don’t care.”

13.Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a player who received four F’s and one D: “Kid, looks to me like you’re spending too much time on one subject.”

14. Amarillo High School and Oiler coach Bum Phillips – when asked by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips – Phillips said, “Because – she’s too ugly to kiss good-bye.” (dead man walking.)

Tim Tyrrell
President NFLPA Retired Players -Chicago Chapter