“A friend is someone that does things for you when it’s of inconvenience to them.”

Rod Davis, one of my best friends.

Some people have lots of friends, some have just a few. I’ve always adopted that a friend is someone you can talk to. Since maturing more than that surface belief of my youth, I understand friend to be so much more. A friend is truly someone who would do things for you when it’s of inconvenience to them. One prerequisite of friend was for me to have had many years with that person. This no longer is true. Recently, I’ve found friends who do anything for anyone, and I’ve known them for less than a year. A friend is someone that listens attentively to you and do not judge your behavior. When we speak to our friends it’s because we trust and care for one another. Our conversations go both ways, our pains we share privately with each others. Depending on and trusting a person is the hallmark of being a friend to someone. I’ve never wanted to let a friend down. If my friend had one cookie and I had five I would share. There’s no belief I could adhere to that would justify not sharing, none. I know my friends know that they can depend on me, if they ask I’ll make it happen, regardless of what may happen to me. A friend doesn’t make excuses. They get it done. A true friend gets it done without being asked twice.

To be friends I believe you must possess similar feelings for one another. Friendship can’t be one-sided. If you’re the only one with problems and your friend just listen, that’s not a friend, that’s a therapist. You have a relationship that’s no different than the relationship you have with your mechanic. That’s not friendship. That friend does not trust in you or themselves. Friendships grow stronger from each partner sharing their lives with one another. If you have life’s growing pains and we all do, and you have no one that you can talk to, it’s because you don’t trust others. Your lack of trust may be because of egoistical reasons or low self-esteem issues. Who knows? People sometimes don’t know how to build friendship. They believe that relationships are synonymous with friendship. This is not true. I know married couples, sisters, brothers’ that are not friends. Friendship is revealing to another person with humility your cycle of life. This is super hard. Practicing true humility takes a courageous person and the journey is not taken up by the masses. It is so easy to listen to a person then to speak about your weaknesses and pains. You always sound right when you give advice. I use to complain I had no one to talk to, but the real reason was I couldn’t talk honestly about what was going on with me. It was easier to make people non-existence then to speak honestly about my life and everything that can with it.

If you can make it through this life without a human friend more power to you and I wish you the best. However, I love the friends who share their lives with me and I feel obliged to share mines with them. To build healthy friendships I believe you need a few things. It’s not taught in college or in technical school. You must learn this on your own.

1. Be honest with yourself. If you’re lying to you, you’ll lie to anyone.

2. Its ok not to know everything, your friend sometimes just needs some flowers.

3. Cry to your friends and allow them to cry to you.

4. Say “I love you,” If you can’t that’s your buddy you’re talking to.

5. Never let your friends down. However, if you do your friend will understand.

–RAW

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