Never offer the kind of help that disempowers. Never insist on offering the help you think is needed. Let the person or people in need know all that you have to give — then listen to what they want; see what they are ready to receive.
Offer the help that is wanted. Often, the person or people will say, or exhibit by their behavior, that they just want to be left alone. Despite what you think you’d like to give, leaving them alone might be the Highest Gift you can then offer.
If, at a later time, something else is wanted or desired, you will be caused to notice if it is yours to give. If it is, then give it.
Conversations With God, Book 2