This story is a factual story and if it resemble you, its not you. Unless you told me the story.

This person years ago revealed his bother’s tough times he was going through while we were talking. As he continue telling of the sibling’s drug addiction, unsuccessful employment and other misstep. It was obvious to me he had a gleam in his eye. It was almost as if he rejoiced in his brother’s position. He then told me how his brother received all of the accolades growing up. That he wasn’t acknowledge as well as his brother. That his parents, and other sibling showered him with praise and worship him while growing up. His brother could do no wrong. The brother’s tough times was a welcome site, because the other brother could say what he has always secretly felt.
“I knew I was better then him.” This is what he said in a round about way several time while he told the story.

Hmm. Tough times also show who other people are.

My journey has revealed as much to me. It redefined my definition of things like marital Love, Friendship, sibling’s Love and other personal factors. Three years ago my journey began not because of catastrophic event. But after years of thinking and feeling a certain way, a cancerous way. Years of alcohol, drugs and reckless behavior had taken a toll on me. I wanted it stop, I wanted to live and feel different. In August 2005, I was arrested by the FBI in Sparta, Wisconsin on Possession of Counterfeit Devices. That change I was looking for had just arrived. I’ll stick with the arrest and subsequently my questioning by the U.S. Secret Service in 2007 which led to my incarceration in the U.S Federal Prison Camp in Terre Haute, Ind. earlier this year in 2008.

My initial arrest in August 2005 was the best day of my life. If the FBI hadn’t become involved in my life, I would be dead, or serving a lengthy sentence for Homicide. In a few years, I become a monster, unrecognizable to myself and others. As with normal procedure the first things the Feds want you to do is roll on somebody. You know “we want the big person,” not you, “give us the big fish,” and we’ll make everything go away. For the next eight months I did not deliver a “Big fish,” it was no big fish to deliver. If you don’t have someone to deliver you’re going to prison. Well lucky me I didn’t go to prison and I didn’t give no one. I got probation in November of 2006. Less then 10% of cases end in probation. You see I had nothing in my background, no record, I mean some violence here there, traffic tickets and such, but nothing to send me away. You know during the whole episode I wasn’t afraid, I mean I guess should have been, but I wasn’t. I’ll talk about this later, fear. (My friend Rod Davis came to Sparta, Wis. to pick me up in 2005, big ass friend. Toughest man I’ve met in my Life) All of the court preceding for my case with the FBI only my wife came to court with me. Although, I made few people aware of my pending legal troubles, it was Debra and I in court alone. Oh yea, here’s something you may not know. In Federal court its just you on the Docket for that hour. The United States of America vs. Robert Williams. Life is not a game.. If you’re timid, don’t fuck with the Feds, they’re going to slam your ass.

Will finish later today, got to go look for work for the truck.

…to be continue

How my life continue to change?
The People who stuck by me through the shit…and the ones who didn’t give damn.