In life we come across those people that stand out in our lives and we also come across those that we would rather forget. I on the other hand remember all of these people but for different reasons. If you haven’t guessed I am talking about the first man that caught the eye of my heart. I have the man who stole my heart and never gave it back; he’s followed by a man who puts up a good front but in the end turned out to be a D.A.N. (the definition for this acronym comes later). Even though my heart was broken and I thought I would never be loved again, I came across two men that were there to help me get back on my feet and made me realize he wasn’t worth my time.
Now we come to the man that started out as fantasy for me but ended up being a wonderful distraction. He was the man that made me see that there really are more fish in the sea and opened my eyes to how real men, do real things. God gives you things but he also takes them away if things are not as they should be; enter the blessing in disguise. I thought he was a genuine friend but in all reality, in the back of my mind he was never going to be there until the end. I loved him then, I love him now, I will love him until the end. No one and nothing will ever compare to my soul mate. Last but definitely not least, comes the man that I will forever be grateful for. He entered my life at a time when all hell was breaking loose in and around me. He however did turn out to be one of my closest and best friends and the inspiration for why I am, at this very moment blessed and favored beyond belief. One of these men holds more than one title in my life.
Wearing My Heart on My Sleeve is exactly what I’m about to do. I’ve worn my heart on my sleeve in various fashions. I’ve been the one to hide under wraps and walk over because I was too naive to know any better. I’ve been the one who had your back regardless of how you treated me and threw me aside, for the one who claimed to ride or die but got loose the very moment they gave you time. I was the lady in the streets and the freak in the sheets. I’ve been the one to run too when your wife was out of line and you needed someone to realign. I’ve been the one to chill with, get high with and make you smile by simply popping an Altoids in my mouth.
I’ve been the one that you lied to, to protect the image you never really had to begin with; you thought I never knew but going along with it is what I chose to do. I’ve been the one that you lashed out at because there was no one else around. I’ve been the one to still care even when others told me I’m out of my mind. I’ve been the one to be five miles from empty and manage to scrape up enough to still be there. I’ve been the one to cherish a friendship, wish I was your safe haven but in the end thank God for the angel in disguise he sent to save me from my own demise.
I invite you into my personal space and time. I don’t normally allow people into my heart but at this point in my life, I’m blessed to have known each and every man that I speak about. I hold no animosity towards any of these men and have forgiven those that needed forgiving and thanked those that needed to be thanked. I take each one of these relationships as a learning curve and some as a stepping stone. Each one of these experiences has made me the woman that I am today, so I can only be grateful for time spent with each one of them.
I’m taking you on a journey that starts in 1994 and ends in present day. Some of the names are real, true and have been authorized by that man to be used. If you notice that a name is different but it is you I’m talking about, you are not in my life now, so I improvised because you weren’t worth the effort of me wasting my time to find you. If I offend anyone along the way, I apologize for offending you but understand that everything I’m saying is real, true and definitely a fact. We are all responsible for our own actions and if you’re ashamed of what you did, you should have thought about that before you did it.
If you read this and have to apologize to me; don’t I’ve forgiven you and moved on with my life. I have peace in my life now that will stand the test of time and any other circumstance that comes my way; God. Be blessed as I am and understand that we can either learn from our experiences or stay stuck in the same bogus triangle of deception and lies. I have chosen to move forward and come into my purpose. I wish all of you nothing but the best, in all aspects of your lives.
Wearing My Heart on My Sleeve