Attempting to understand a depressed mind incites an emotional hurricane; for the depressed and caregiver. The mind spends violently out of control. To parents, spouses and friends it appears like we are normal, just a little perturbed. Those appearances provokes statements, “You could snap out of it if you wanted to,” “You need God in your life.” The illusion of normalcy can not be overstated. We are not ok.
Underneath the face, a mental pain you could not imagine. The mind becomes completely absorbed with darkness. We attempt to figure out the problem, but we’re to close to it. A obsession to figure out what’s wrong takes over. Love ones witness unpredictable mood changes, anger, resentment, self-pity while the obsession engulf us.
The unfounded exercise soon exhaust us, we then become silent, recluse. You find us in rooms unresponsive. Unable to understand or explain our problem. Helpless.
‘What did I do?’ ‘Why is God punishing me?’ ‘Why don’t they see what’s wrong with me?’ ‘I want to Die.’ ‘Why don’t my mother/father love me?’ It makes us cry.
To move forward emotionally, step back. Depressed? Stop repetitive thoughts if possible, I know its hard. The injured mind can not be treated by you. Its like trying to pull a bullet out the back of your thigh, you can’t reach it. Just try to slow down the thoughts.
Still your mind best you can, stay clear of masking agents, alcohol, drugs overeating. I know, easier said, then done. When pain hurts, we want to escape. Self-medicate with education on depression, causes, symptoms and treatment. You do not have to stay in the darkness, the light is in you.