The biggest tool which created my life of death; Ego. It allowed nothing but self-gratification in many situations. As my life spiraled out of control, I latched on to it, as long as I could. My strength became my curse.
When the mind doesn’t know, it acts accordingly. Another regretful attributes; a unwillingness “not to give up.” Its disguised as valiant in tough men but its sometimes a curse.
I sustained my Ego with past success. Played pro ball, I could do anything, payed the bills, I can do anything, yada yada yada. Twisted perception of success made me untouchable.
Ego makes one believe we control the world. “If only the world listen to me this shit would be straight.” A damn child in a playhouse.
How many friends do you have like that? The smartest people in the world. Very knowledgeable but void of wisdom.
My past success made take the long road to Taoism. It may have been shorter if not for knowledge of 10,000 things. I argued with the universe and lost.
Looking back, stupid as a jackass, its a wonder I can write today. My follies only dimensioned my Ego. Faculties are in place, looking to take classes At-Large Counseling this fall. Eventually grad school.
Acquisition of knowledge to rest upon foundation of wisdom and Tao.
Work done, I leave behind.