Letting go may be harder then having a tooth pulled. It seems not to matter if it’s something we’ve done or having being victimized; we resist moving forward. Conversely, as we recount being victimized by parents, mates, friends or enemies, some of us may never find closure.
Fantasizing incessantly of being held warmly by a parent or not bullied by siblings, etc, nevertheless we desire a different past. However our past is permanent, yet, how do we live harmoniously with past painful episodes? Hmm….Let Go! It sounds simple enough, but some of us can attest to the resiliency of holding a hot pot handle; in other words; its hard to let go.
“I’ll Show Them”
Unfortunately, painful memories often are utilized for motivation, “I’ll Show Them,” or “Never Again,” an oath taken to prove something. Painful memories also begin clandestine, and so, to embarrassing for us to reveal they dissolve into our subconscious over time. They become a part of who we believe we are, often times undetectable by others; even our loved ones.
Furthermore, this form of memory becomes stationary as success validates its effectiveness unfortunately. We succeed in life, silently focused to silence reticule poached ten, twenty thirty years ago on us. “We’ll show them,” did we really?
Bitter memories do not dilute in successful careers, educational accomplishments or fame by the way. We consistently resuscitated those memories not as positive motivational tools, but painful stabs at our perpetrators, if we are to be honest. Unable to articulate our pain, we encapsulated our mind inside victimization.
“I’ll Forgive but Never Forget!”
Letting go is forgiveness, it halts secret desires against our perceived perpetrators, and moreover, forgiveness is a gift to us as well. Healing begins instantaneous with honest forgiveness; also, our perceived perpetrators may be unaware of their actions’ effects on us. Some who hurt knowingly become spiritually frozen, we’re unable to forgive ourselves and unforgiven by our victim. This may be the most pain ridden spiritual position on earth. Forgiveness erases our memory, which is a good thing, because it’s a tremendous feat to whole bitterness.
“I’ll forgive but never forget,” is a play on words and it deceives us. What its means is, “I am on guard against pain,” as if we are able to prevent it. Why don’t we look to the sky hopefully to stop rain from falling? Pain is a part of life, its accepting pain that’s harmony. When we accept pain, we can forgive and move on.
Acceptance of others missteps allows us to accept ours, we can then begin to forgive ourselves. Holding on to anger kills our spirit, let it go; there’s nothing reliving it can do. Our imprisonment begins and ends with us…Let it Go.