The First Lady: Sex, Baptism, & Friends

church-womanI walk and vision a companion, she notices my gaze. My attention engages her blouse, a rosy flower gown top, her bubbly breast tight, nipples stiff. We have done this before and often, her husband, the reverend provided our lead in. His Black ass running around chasing hookers and improvised church women. I developed my pleasures for the First Lady on the other side of town. She visits the children’s shelter often, her dark brown bottom unmarked and motionless. I am not shy nor apprehensive on my engagement; I’m living in what was prepared. Yet, I fear, she possesses my secrets, special movements, and excitement with others.

Many men fear to engage the First Lady, not me, she wants love and dirty sex. I sit two rolls back, stroking my thigh, staring into memories, our memories, our fifthly desires. She plays an open game of hide and seek, I fall for it, I accept the cookie and juice offering. She glances at a friend worshiper; my heart anticipates our secret is known. Yet, we never considered the holy church for an escapade with her friend.  Fred Hammond drowns out my private desires, The First Lady, and friend, hmm. Is it possible? Hell, yeacross? Is it, right?

You damn right! Their Black sorority or whatever got ‘em working out like this, now bring that thang over here, wet, real wet. My shaft is restless, staring at both, brown and light-skinned, you feel me. My thrust soaks up the fluids from their Wonder Caves. Both involves themselves as I place the proper music tone, I’m allowed to watch, as both, show me what Holy is about. The First Lady’s eyes go toward the ceiling, her streams flow smoothly like Sade’s beats. There’s never a need for loud sounds, we keep it down, and pass the movement around. The pastors and friends none the wise, it’s going down around town.

*****
I am lost in their passion, they absorb my desires, intimidating but soothing. Her friend’s fingers guiding my boyish hands to snatch her nimble. I am lost, help me, it is intimidating but soothing. Silence again takes my potency and caress the spirit, both spirit unbeknownst before this deliberate seduction. Their hips lay me down, a speechless heroin of a thousand lovers seduces my fears, my fears are their Aphrodite she increases the First Lady’s device. Her friend’s purpose to extract my fantasies, I am soon exhausted by their vigor. In a trance, I vision two companions, neither lives with fear or sadness, we behave this way

 

Oh, yeah, we locked the church doors.

Robert a, Williams

Black Women, Find A Good Black Man in his Wrong Mind

2861150070_652e8c2e65_m Describing the demographics of African-American men would be both informative and terrifying. Any local news from urban cities across America describes a bleak portrait (i.e., staggering unemployment, incarceration, addiction and health issues). How do Black women find a marriage partner in these unsettling collections? In addition, maintaining relationships to these men who resemble caged animals can be daunting and often demoralizing.

“In 2001, according to the U.S. Census, 43.3 percent of black men and 41.9 percent of black women in America had never been married, in contrast to 27.4 percent and 20.7 percent respectively for whites. African-American women are the least likely in our society to marry. In the period between 1970 and 2001, the overall marriage rate in the United States declined by 17 percent; but for blacks, it fell by 34 percent. African-Americans are the most uncoupled people in the country” Washington post.

The variables of the broken bond of marriage in the community are too vast to explore. From slavery and second-class citizenship to the 1980’s drug epidemic, the reasons are limitless to our relational demise. Without question, Black women desire to be ‘hooked up’ with a straight and honest cat willing to care for home and family to death do us part. However, the traits of a successful Black marriage needs casting on ‘America’s Most Wanted’. 2235372287_4633076e77_m

Barring rehashing the obvious factors aforementioned, how does the Black woman navigate the terrain of her stressed out counterpart? In other words, how does she help him escape his demons? The Dragon expects a mature audience reads his transcripts and undressing Black men will not occur in this translation. I do not build by tearing down individuals character flaws; my intentions are to help people reconstruct their spirits.

Some important questions however need exploring. First, are AA men characteristics, traits and personalities suited for marriage? Second, how do AA women help men deal with their fear? Finally, how do AA women begin a healthy dialogue with men who suppress their emotions?

Time and space will not allow us to cover these points in detail. However, tune into The Dragon’s Radio show at 2pm CST, “Finding the Right Black Man in his Wrong Mind” to discuss Black Men and marriage.

The Invisible Dragon

milesdavis1

Are You in a Bogus Marriage or Relationship?

3739605789_8d95b6e760_o Without question, there is no greater despair then a person in a disjointed love relationship. As a result, when affairs head south, we ask, “What went wrong.” We contemplate repeatedly, what looked so promising, faded so fast to crap. There are untold individuals of failed relationships and marriages. Some end nicely, and sadly, some in abusive fashion.

As an illustration, The Dragon never immune to life has suffered failed relationships, two to be exact. Youth and ignorance could be plausible reasons, but let us not kid ourselves. Above all, I did not know what self-love consisted of and ultimately, in both affairs, I wanted my needs met. I wanted a caregiver.  The Dragon refer to as “Bogus or Counterfeit Love,” where one falls in love with the illusion of “Falling in Love.”

For the sake of discussion, let us take a closer look at the construction of counterfeit love. When we meet the so-call ‘the one’, our impulses says, ‘this person makes us feel special.” Hence, our stomachs turn as if on a roller coaster when we are with them. He/she does everything right (i.e., movies, valentine gifts, & candy). In essence, you bragged to your family and friends, this is the one. Now let us fast-forward to real life shall we, a few years later, as we sit scarred and bristled in our closet crying uncontrollably.

What Happen?

First, you were never in love; you were in love with the “illusion of falling in love”. Let us not be 4081360474_b6c8f398e6_o deceitful, we ultimately, succumbed to an illusion supported by sex, gifts and “the idea we were extraordinary”. In any case, when we construct a relationship in this manner, it is no wonder; we end up in the fetal position weeping and saying, “He/She just changed overnight.” Yea, right! Incidentally, when you lack self-love, you are easily attracted to counterfeit love. You drove yourself to the slaughterhouse; let us take a closer examination.

Overall, we threw ourselves at these men/women, all the while, ignoring obvious character flaws (i.e., selfishness, obsessiveness, needy, just plain shady). Sadly, inside the illusion, we saw only what made us ‘feel special’. Moreover, with faithful resiliency, we consistently manipulated the chase, dangling our ‘goodies’ to insure we can make their mouths water.

Expectably, after we thought we had them, the big announcement, “I’m in Love!” Sadly and eventually, we come to realize, once again, we fail in love with the imagination of falling in love. .

By the way, true love has nothing to do with feeling out of the ordinary. If we need to ‘feel gifted’ by someone, it is but a moment you will meet continually with painstaking disappointments. In the end, these relationships are about control and fear of separation and abandonment. These relationships are insanity; moreover, it denotes lack of self-love, we engaged to a nightmare.

Love Yourself

As we vision, some grasp obsessively to love interests, an obvious illustration of dependency. It signals our mates’ ‘goodies’ may attract other suitors; ultimately, leaving us alone, deserted. Overall, we are worrying about our own needs not the marriage. These relationships are so taxing. Did you know, self-love is the only love not dependent on external people or forces.

In short, the Dragon does not need his wife, he adores and love being with his wife. I long-lost the illusion of the fear of separation that nearly destroyed my marriage and life. My fear of disconnection was demented and self-serving. I resemble the child screaming for his mother. Instead of marrying fantasies of love, turn on to you first.

Counterfeit love affairs are control and panic relationships. The premise that someone is responsible for our feelings pronounces our fear of separation and abandonment. A solution to this personal matter is for one to learn to find true self-love. Nevertheless, I do not direct people in that manner; I only know it starts within.

The Invisible Dragon

milesdavis1

Here’s a Quick Way Over a Broken Heart

“Freeing yourself was one thing; claiming ownership of that freed self was another.”   Toni Morrison

“Once upon a time I was falling in love, but now I’m only falling apart.”—Anonymous. Nothing pains more than a broken heart fractured by a love one. Whether, from their actions or mental discontentment or both, the adage, ‘the ones closes to”…you know the rest. We chance happiness and pain with commitments to husbands, wives and mates. However, when we hurt each other, how can we quickly repair pain and ultimately the relationship?

Can love be confusing, of course, it can. Which is why, a love interests ought not to become a source of identity? What does this mean? Attempting to run our spirit through another person’s spirit may create a false sense of control. Consequently, we deceive ourselves that our significant other should make decisions based on our conceptions. Moreover, unfortunately, we quickly label them as ‘not caring’ or ‘selfish’ when this does not occur.

Yes, relationship is about sharing, ‘our individuality.’ More hearts have shattered from a false sense of control than any other behavior. Watch me here, “You cannot make someone Love You!!!” “If someone you love hurts you cry a river, build a bridge, and get over it.” Anonymous. In other words, accept the misfortune, love, forgive them, and let it go.  If you can’t, you have some decisions for consideration.

Love does not try to change or control people. We lose every time by holding on very tight, do not fear separation. Nothing cures a stubborn heart more than a missed loved one. Open the cage and let the bird free. “God is closest to those with broken hearts.” – Jewish Saying.

The Invisible Dragon

milesdavis1

Build a Christian Husband You Can be Proud of

137582239_5ee36f43bb_m “Among all born again Christians, which includes evangelicals, the divorce figure is 32 percent, which is statistically identical to the 33 percent figure among non-born again adults,” (“Study: Christian Divorce Rate Identical to National Average | Christianpost.com,” n.d.).

Has the liberal stigma of divorce created a lethargic attitude among African American Christians? Would you believe Christians are more open to separation than “to death do us part?”  Marriage is tough enough, add employment, children, and a needy husband, well you get the picture. However, no one person has a more influential impact on a husband’s behavior than his wife.

Consequently, the Christian husband wants to satisfy his wife sometimes more than God. Sadly, his mistakes are manifested with a double edged-sword.  There’s an easy way to help your Christian husband grow his faith.  Below are 3 methods that will help you build your Christian husband, your marriage and his faith.  These strategies are as good as your belief in God.

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3 Foolproof Strategies that build a Strong Christian husband

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(1) Men at Work

Have you heard the old adage, “A family who prays together, stays together”? I contend, on the contrary, “A husband that works and lives his faith stays together with his family. Attending church, tithing and organizing church functions is not synonymous with a faithful existence. A wife must remind a husband he’s responsible for his walk. Challenge and encourage him to stand up and live a life that reflects his Christian beliefs, values, and attitudes.  In other words, help your husband to halt pretending pious actions and truthfully resurrect his faith.

(2) The Leader Among us?

Encourage your husband to realize the importance of matrimonial leadership. Although, man and 191539431_206b1daf45woman are equal, a strong Christian woman desires a well-built Christian man at her side. Consequently, a Christian husband must maintain strength in his faith, as well as his personal convictions.  In addition, help your husband develop his own Christian persona and God’s purpose for himself. Tell him to stand up on his own faith, not the one you or  others may desire.

(3) Spiritual Equilibrium

While one grows, a wife’s nurturing must be positive. No worthwhile man was composed from absolute negativity. The Christian wife,  must walk her talk also.

Love is not blind; some wives see husbands’ shortcomings a mile away.  Predictably, however, this may create a judgmental spirit.  We realize, the Christian marriage is not only dependent on the well-built husband, but also, a positive reinforcing well-built wife.

For that reason, be careful Christian wives, that love bitterly soaked in anger creates a toxic environment. Ultimately, however, the husband must find his faith strut; nevertheless, the wife came be his  walking cane or the crack in the sidewalk. In other words, encourage his Godly intentions until ‘death do you part’.

The Dragon blows his smoke from all heavens.

milesdavis1

cheers,