The Resurrection Approaches Tao 44

Fame or integrity: which is more important?

Money or happiness; which is more valuable?

Success or failure; which is more destructive?

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If you look to others for fulfillment,

You will never truly be fulfilled.

If your happiness depends on money,

You will never be happy with your yourself.

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Be content with what you have;

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Rejoice in the way things are.

When you realize there is nothing lacking,

The whole world belongs to you.


Stephen Mitchell’s Translation

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I came across this Tao essay among my books, as if it could hide. I discovered the saying because at times I fade into illusions and become despondent. Indeed, it is highly likely that I fear uncertainties at times, because the world appears empty and without friends at those moments. Close friends are a margin, men specifically, I walk a lonely path vacant of male friends. Sadly, I did not have a position on a team.  Maybe its better that way, not to stay lonely however.  Thus, after a beautiful walk/jog, I sat on my small and rented cement porch and took a picture of my deceased friend, Kevin Staple.

The Invisible Dragon

Farewell (For Now) Dr. Omer Avci

Omer flower (friend (fr nd). n. 1. A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts you. 2. A person with whom one is allied in a struggle …(3) “a person who’ll do things for you when it’s of inconvenience to them” (Rod Davis).

I have developed a term that signifies my conceptualization of friendship: Uncomfortable Sacrifice. This is just one tenet of friendship, however, I have found it to be the soundest tool to measure how it works. As such, camaraderie is risking your personal comfort zone for another. I’m not talking about fake charity. Keep the transparent, “I know you could do it” or the proverbial ‘tough love’ b.s. to yourself. These and other statements need works to mean anything of value at least in friendship.  With that said, I have a short list of friends.

Omer Avci is a friend. I met him a few years ago when I joined the College Learning Enhancement Program (CLEP) as a reading instructor at Northern Illinois University (NIU). I sat in on his classes as I was trying to see how not to screw up my students. I modeled my early teaching after him and Dr. Armstrong. Unfortunately and fortunately, this past spring he completed his doctorate degree and is heading back with his family to his home country (Turkey) after eight years in the U.S. By the way, without Omer’s support and others my comp exam could have been harder.

Omer always had time, always. He never passed me on to someone else, not once. This cat defended his dissertation while helping me with my comp exam. My friend Rod Davis is like that and so am I. If you’re our friend, we will not let you down, not once. We’ll give to you and forgo our own agency under many circumstances. Omer did the same with no excuses, no b.s. he just said…What do you need?”

I will miss him dearly…

My friend, Dr. Omer Avci

The Invisible Dragon

Tracy Morgan and Black Homophobia

I applaud Tracy’s apology for his homophobic rant in a recent comedy skit.  I have long acknowledged my stiff opposition to all LGBT violent speech, discrimination, and physical assaults.  I love Tracy Morgan’s comedy and will not stop watching him on my favorite TV show, “30 Rock” or a HBO’s comedy special.  However, I also congratulate Tina Fey, whom did a wonderful job in condemning his routine and denouncing such garbage.  Mr. Morgan used a total lack of judgment in light of recent young people committed suicide because of their sexual orientation.

Again, his skit was insensitive, hurtful, and dangerous to young ppl facing constant violence from homophobic individuals.  Hate speech and violence against LBGT individuals cannot be tolerated: regardless of person/s or forum used for it; Homophobia language demonstrates a lack of education from its speaker.

This brings up an entry point concerning the Black community and its high moral stance against homosexuality.   Nearly, 94% of African-Americans claim an affiliation with religion, specifically Christianity.  Through research and general knowledge the Black community’s position toward the LBGT community is well-known and a point of emphasis in the Black church.  NO GAYS ALLOWED!!!  This consensus is laughable if it wasn’t so miserable.

The Black community, who screams for constant equality and social acceptance find themselves the most homophobic group in America.  Who the hell cut off the lights?Despite chronic urban violence, high homicide rate, mass incarceration, massive illiteracy, high unemployment, and lingering health issues…(I would run out of strength in my fingers to continue our national forecast).  Yet, homosexuality, we find defective and deserving of our wrath and must be condemned in all spaces. (again, who cut off the lights?)

I am not a religious person, nevertheless I sought its membership in the past on a few occasion.  (Thankfully, I failed)  Religion, like politics creates strange bedfellows.  I have come to realize pious individuals find it assessable to manipulate their religious oath to suit their vices. In other words, it’s only a sin when others do it, surprisingly, the same (pious) person will shout to the mountain top about homosexuality.  It is a facade, albeit, a clever transparent smoke screen,…

Just in….BREAKING NEWS!!!

Black people are members of the LGBT community and frankly, listening to my gay and lesbian friends more than one imagine.  However, robotic mannequins preaching God’s wrath against the devil’s army believes theirs souls are different.  BullS—T!  Black Christians and non-Christians are more similar than opposites in my experiences.   For instance, both groups lie, steal, cheat, commit adultery, and ask God for forgiveness, and on the other hand both accomplish good deeds.  In fact, there exists no proof that a pious person will obey their religious mantra faithfully: Not even the fear of God will hold some back from their hidden vices.  However, Homosexuality is not a vice, it is two humans sharing a relationship and hopefully a loving one.

In closing, Blacks lead the country in HIV/AIDS new infections, our young people are dying, yet we bury our heads in the proverbial sand called ‘religion.’  I do not know if Tracy Morgan is a religious individual, this is not about his faith, but about Black America’s hypocrisy.  I did not have to forgive Tracy, we say dump things at times, I am one who does it more more than once.  Nevertheless, Blacks need to clean up the religious rhetoric concerning homosexuality, you’re not fooling anyone.  Cut the lights back on, please, I beg God.

The Invisible Dragon

On a Personal Note…

038I lost an opportunity to help my children at an important time in their development. As you recall or maybe not, my mother had a dreadful childhood and subsequent life of only 46 years. A young mother at 13 she lacked normal life skills and demonstrated a fierce sense of survival. In essence, we were poor but in areas more vital than socioeconomic status and wealth.

I had a childhood marred with dysfunctional behaviors and maladaptive developmental stages. Often violence or the threat of viciousness was a communication tool for my era of adolescence. I would like to blame my mother and father, but it would not help. However, their lives were marred in spilt-second decisions of survival, I praise them however for their effort to get my siblings and I along as best possible. Nevertheless, my maladaptive habits soaked my psyche and rendered me abnormal.  As a result, I ran away in my childhood to the form of violence, threat of violence or solitude.

Unfortunately I found myself high in this painful capital throughout my life. A reason? I had lost my guidance (e.g., father) when I was 15, much too early I would say. Thus, I was left to fend for myself personally and socially as a young adult.  I did not fare well. Decisions were hasty and unmonitored by a trusted caregiver, I was often doomed with regrets for unsound choices. Sadly, my children were encapsulated in this dreadful era also fueled by depression, substance abuse, and outrageous risk-taking. It had a tremendous effect on them.

On a personal note, I find my children not using my old technique of communication, (I’m happy) but they lack adaptive behaviors in other stages of development. Worse, I am locked out after becoming a better person to help them. Three of them are now adults and their adult stages do not permit my tutelage; I’m isolated in a form of family relation poverty.

Moreover this prison I’m incarcerated in has forced me to witness their maladaptive development at times. It is a penalty of untold measures and pain.  Sadly, I thought I could break the chain of behavioral abnormalities with my new consciousness but seemly evolution has discarded me. I missed the chance in their childhood it seems.  You cannot go home as they say.    I could blame myself but it would not help…

 

The Invisible Dragon

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How Does One Maintain Deep Peace?

 

At the center of your being you have the answer;

you know who you are and you know what you want.
Lao Tzu

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Lately my life has become submerged in clouds of “Busy Work”. This phrase (Busy Work) I learned from students as it describes activities of routine and not of passion. As you are aware, the musings are far too between here on the Dragon, reason? (My mind is trapped in Busy Work). By the way, the longhand journal I keep does not recognize the ink of my pen.  WTF, I am a stranger until myself.

How does one maintain deep peace? What sacrifices should one make for happiness? Describe that place? Valid questions, more important than graduate studies, these inquiries are possibly the foundation of my life.  (One would only hope).

Since March 2007, The Invisible Dragon blog has been a sanctuary for reflection but lately it has become a foreign novelty. I would like to invite a reunion, a static gathering, where one again set the sunrise by it. Is this a peaceful start?  (One does Hope)

I believe one should develop a life philosophy, a livable framework, flexible in structure no less. (If it sounds like I’m new to this I am). Writing to the Dragon is very peaceful; I wonder why one turns their back on it occasionally. What is outside my awareness that motivates these ambitions to flee? How does one maintain deep peace? (I Hope)

The Invisible Dragon

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