Holding on to ‘Something’


I am holding on to “something,” what that something maybe I do not know.

However, I feel its tension in my daily affairs and my frustration

It grows with the mental constipation

My transformation may not begin until I discover

why and what “something” does to my mind

I hunger for a change from my old life


Am I afraid of “something”?  How do you discover fear hidden deep inside?

Well, at least I noticed my dilemma, unlike my previous life of denial

I faced nothing truthfully; however, this “something” is real

Something may be “expectations” Yes! Expectations

The dreaded process of what may happen scares me

Expectations from family, friends, and life

Conversely, I feel frustrated, it drains my spirit

And circumvents my growth, I hate to be honest


Are we ever in the “moment”?  When we have expectations?

How does one accept the moment with expectations flooding the soul?

Do we not anticipate life?  Set goals? I feel lost without expectations

and stuck with them.  Expectations frustrate my psyche and I expect

one day they will not. (You see, there I go again)

Hopefully, I rid myself of my dreaded expectations,

So, I live in the moment.

Consequently, able to accept whatever happens will feel great,

Until then; I “expect” nothing, however “something” is out there.

The Invisible Dragon

10 Mistake People Make With My Introvert Personality

1.  Never ask me to attend a social event if I’m home.  I will not come because  you gave me to much time to think.

2.  I try never to attend or watch football games with people under any conditions.   So, please don’t ask…unless you understand my personality.  I’ll leave two minutes in the first quarter.

3.  “Ask Rob, he’s a great motivational speaker”.  I’m extremely self-conscious in public and I constantly timageshink about going home.  One exception, I’ll speak to little people and social justice issues.

4.  I have never attended a large concert so don’t ask.  I visited Georges in Chicago once to see Phyllis Hyman in the 80’s.  Small set…it was workable.

5.  Don’t surprise me with a gift, card, or any other trinket.  I hate it.

6.  I don’t celebrate holidays…even my birthday.  So, don’t ask me to celebrate the 4th, Xmas, or your birthday.

7.  Don’t ask me to do anything I’m unfamiliar with.  I may get horribly upset.

8.  If I come to your home, don’t ask if you can get me something.  That places me under the spotlight….UGGGG!!!

9.  If you come to my home you won’t be there long.

10.  My wife insisted I attend my College Hall of Fame Induction.  I went…mad and upset.

Who Am I?

Writer, Artist, Jazz lover, atheist, I’m not shy, dreamer, fierce fighter, loyal, and straight forward.

Lynch-A-Negro Day: Public Square 12pm Sharp

I will poem-nize the underlining message when policemen brutalize African Americans caught on tape. This brutality is a planned and unplanned public lynching (Pick-a-Negro Day). Yes, we are the victims of public terrorism (KKK/Cops) since being taken and enslaved (Free Labor).

Though we have fought several social justice battles (Non-Violent) yet none seemed to have worked (Unorganized violence, peaceful protest).

Sadly, like days gone by, America remains at peace with our present state (Marginalized, Poverty-Stricken), nightly news highlight brutality by cops (Psychologically Traumatizing).

This unfathomable brutality receives the blessings of some passive Whites, and Blacks (If only they stop resisting).

Consequently, our children receive these negative images by internet, TV, and history books (Texas, slavery was a immigrants workers’ program).

So, Pokie fights his minds and souls (Black on Black violence Myth) because he can’t complain (Where’s your Daddy?).

What about your Black community organizers (Black Misleaders supporting Trump) minsters and pastors for hire (No support for poverty).

What about our children’ education we must fight the system (DeKalb, Ill Teaching Faculty 86.1% Whites) and what about multiculturalism (Black Teachers 3.7% )?

Damn, (God infused)…What is the possible fate of African American students if they underperform (Prison Industrial Complex) as a result of not receiving culturally relevant teaching (Black students are lazy).

Cops subject us to the worse form of subjugation (Public Humiliation, Private Terror).

But, it’s no surprise America used policemen for this fear (KKK/Cops) and terror mission (Not responsible) in our communities (Liquid stores, food desserts) in our homes or downtown (Blacks have no rights worth defending).

Again, the purpose for these daily public lynching (Systemic Racism and Power) is to remind us of our place (Faces at The Bottom of the Well).

The Dragon ReDux

EIU 1981 Linebackers Vol 1 Con’t


1981 Linebackers (Draft/unedited)

The Best Linebackers I played with at Eastern Illinois University 1981-83 (Draft)

I had a great athletic experience at Eastern Illinois University. I also had the pleasure of playing with some impressive defensive and offensive players. In my later years, I reminisce often about players I had the fortune to play with. I’ve had this writing project on my mind here and there…but lately I began recording these experiences. But, more important, I was a part of a winning college football program. So, I got the idea to rank the best defensive and offensive player by segment from my time. Again, I played with national champions, runner-up national champions, and an 11-1-1 season record team.

The Candidates:
EIU linebackers I played with (1981-83)

Ira ‘Rue’ Jefferson
Thomas ‘Mur Dog’ Murray
Bill ‘Superman’ Mine
Oretago ‘Hollywood’ Jackson
Reggie ‘Hawk’ Taylor

The Preacher and the Baller

In 1981, EIU football wore the robe of Division II national runner-up… second best. However, one chooses to look at it..we lost. I say “We” although I did not make the traveling team.  The start of the 1981 season seemed somewhat uncertain, I was elevated to a “Red” i.e., first string but wasn’t comfortable just yet. I recall ‘Coach Shack’ my DB coach screaming at me so much I thought several times wanting to hit him in his head. Inside of me was a burning fury to go back to Chicago. I thought about it day and night. At Eastern, I came in contact with many cats from Simeon High School. To say they were arrogant pricks would be kind. I found most just talked a good game, they were like Chicago catholic league players. Great with their high school team but were bums on a college roster.

One Simeon player that came in 1980 was CB Bryant Hobbs. This cat had a sculptured body, bench 300Ibs, squat 400, run 4.5, he could do everything. He was elevated quickly on the depth chart. But something was bugging him, he looked as confused as I was. I thought it was the ‘Charleston City Virus’. The ‘Charleston City’ virus was an illness that only I possessed. You get chills because the ghosts of Andy Griffin and Barney was walking around. This city wasn’t your ordinary Stephen King setting..it was more than that.  It was fucking BORING!!!! Nothing in Charleston resembled the life I had for eighteen years in Chicago. I was sad and depressed my entire four years at Eastern, I secretly lived in misery.

Chicago in 1980 was and still remain a city marked by race, racism, and class. Charleston Illinois elevated my fear, not against bigotry or racism but social isolation. Race, racism, and social isolation occurred on the campus, in the dorms, as well as on our practice field. However, I never knew how isolated I was in the Chicago Ghetto until EIU. Bryant had become a close a friend. We would talk for hours, he was deathly humble. Totally the opposite of this asshole, the author. I was a loud opinionated little boy wanting his mother. This, however, would turn into fury on the gridiron.

My first attempt to leave Eastern was in January 1981. While walking with my guy Hobbs by Lantz heading toward Stevenson, this cat humbling announced he’s leaving. I’m like “What”? His words were that the Lord was calling him to preach, my Lord was calling me to get the hell outta dodge. I was like cool.  I’m with you when are we leaving? Now bare in mind, the spring depth chart has been announced. It didn’t matter to me I was first string, I wanted home. Hobbs next phrase froze me in my busted boots and EIU athletic uniform, “Rob you shouldn’t leave your path may call for something different.” I was like damn this cat’s a man. He left, I stayed, he went on to preached, I went on to raised hell.

Eastern Illinois/WestSide Invasion

In 1981, some new cats came into Eastern from the Westside of Chicago, Al Jennings (Dr. Death) DB, Roy Ellis-RB, and Jerry Wright-WR. Coach Shack ask if I would go meet them at the ‘Bar’ (Dunbar my high school alma mater) and talk about the campus. I did just that, they were practicing for the Public Catholic All-Star game. I spoke to them like David ‘Smooth’ Cobb spoke to me after I intercepted a pass in the end zone to win the 1980 City Catholic All-Star game.  Oh, by the way, Catholic league were bums…they can only play with their teammates. Isolate them on a college team and some fizzle. In Chicago, the catholic league in football. Mount Carmel, St. Rita, Loyola were the greatest…yadda, yadda, yadda…Bums.  We ripped them a new on in the 1980 All-Star game. In fact, seven players on the 1980 Public League team played professionally…briefly.

Again, I digress. I told those three when they come down I’ll look after them. In fact, Al ‘Dr. Death’ Jenning was supposed to take my job.

I’ll never forget Greg Duncan stuttering ass…dr…dr…dr…dr…dr…dr.death ga….ga…ga….go…take…take…your..ja…ja…job rob. Greg Duncan is one of the best men I’ve played with at Eastern. I never saw a mf with a speech impediment talk so damn much. Needless to say, I helped Al Jenning be the best athlete he could be…even if it meant taking my job. I counseled him like Will James, Smooth, and Rich Brown counseled me. But Death was on some other shit and faded into the campus scene, eventually pledging Kappa. I think at that moment Death stop playing football although he remained on the team.

Rue and Roy Ellis

Roy Ellis was a talented running back from Manley High School on the Westside. As was known around the ‘Chi’ Westside football wasn’t nearly as competitive as Westside Basketball. Westside basketball was equally if not better than Southside basketball on a given day.  Depaul university benefitted from both sides of town in their run in the NCAA tourneys. Roy older brother “Little John” came down to Eastern and lit us up while playing I believe for UIC. Roy Ellis was laid back cat, he had the look I had, wtf is this. He would soon come to find Eastern football had a bad element.

In the fall of 1981, Rue the starting outside senior linebacker began to terrorize Roy. I’m not sure where this came from, I had never seen this behavior from Rue. Or I possibly overlooked it, but I’m not sure why Roy became his whipping boy. Rue made Roy’s freshmen year hell. After catching wind that Rue is bullying Roy, I choose to sit with Death, Roy, and Jerry, at their athletic table for dinner. I wasn’t for him bullying Roy.   Rue would throw food on him in the mess hall trying to incite him. He would intimidate him in practice… dig this was the first case of athletic stalking. Again, I never understood what the fuck Roy did to him. But he hated him with a passion or it appeared that way.

Although some upperclassmen knew about Rue’s behavior. To my knowledge, I never heard one tell Rue to knock it off. Now bare in mind this hulk of a being is just feet away, with the human power to crush our asses. Yet, I sat there to make a statement, I’m not for that shit. Rue was pissed, to say the least…he threw food more deliberately at Roy. Again, this went on for the entire fall training camp.  I never found out motives for Rue’s behavior.  But it was one of the saddest moments at EIU for the program. You don’t bully your teammates. You just don’t do shit like that…I respected Rue, but was disappointed. I’m sure he was also disappointed as we all eventually matured. We all did stupid shit in our youth…me more than others.

Robert Williams

The Prison State of America by Chris Hedges

prison bars

Chris Hedges is an author and social activist I read quite often.  I have a few books on my knowledge shelf penned by this cat.  In this article, he again explains the ‘slavery’ system inside federal and state prisons.

Chris Hedges:  “Prisons are not, finally, about race, although poor people of color suffer the most. They are not even about being poor. They are prototypes for the future. They are emblematic of the disempowerment and exploitation that corporations seek to inflict on all workers. If corporate power continues….if it is not impeded by mass protests and revolt, life outside prison will soon resemble life in prison”. Read Full Article: The Prison State of America

Recommended Reading

Derrick Bell: Faces at the Bottom of the Well 

Douglas A. Blackmon: Slavery by Another Name

Michelle Alexander: The New Jim Crow-Mass Incarceration in the Age of Colorblindness