A Helpful Affair


imagine her sin…

rebellion to a stagnant life…

her hand on his thigh

deeply desired again

by a man…

an acceptable act of necessity


public masquerade aside,

an unlocked tryst…without fear

her openness, his infatuation …

careful to anonymity

he pleasures silently

in open view


her nails pierce his back…

the renewed sensuality…

as her tightened pelvis

grips him inside her…

she’s outside the marriage


their breath regains rhythm

they join the couples back

at the table…


an event of obligation and

not punishment…

he the better lover

not her husband


she loves them both…


Robert A. Williams

Men & Depression: The Theory of Hope


Hope is deliberate intentions, a road, and courage

not to turn back from reaching your goals.” The Invisible Dragon

Depressed men live in virtual darkness.  Sad and dishearten these men may become emotionally isolated and disengaged. If depression deepens without medical intervention hopelessness may become evident. Haeffel, Abramson, Brazy, & Shah (2007) define hopelessness as being convinced the future holds nothing but bad outcomes and all efforts are futile. However, Snyder (2002) hope theory may help depressed men vision another alternative.  Hope theory is associated with purposeful goals, strategic journey planning, and mental force. In other words this optimistic progression instigates ambitions, pathways, and psychological energy to goal achievement.  It is my position that Snyder’s hope theory may help men battle depression and hopelessness.


Hope provides an underpinning to change thoughts and subsequent behaviors through achievement. The theoretical process is a triad of goal setting, journey thinking, and cognitive force. Changing hopelessness to hope first involves selecting positive goals. Hence encouraging fresh ambitions are alternatives to the negative goals often associated with depression (e.g., isolation, lack of effort, disengagement). Men whom set optimistic aims signify a preamble to change thoughts and subjective behaviors. Depression is as cognitive as it is a brain disorder; how we think influences our mental abilities.

Journey Thinking

The second strategy is cognitive thoughts about our trail. Perceived goals (e.g., good health, mental stability, employment) remain stagnant and stale without action. So, how do we get where we are going? How does one realistically consider the best route? Selecting the most desirable course may encounter trial and error.  As a result there will be bumps in the road we suspect. However the resiliency to maintain an itinerary must be a prerequisite to success.  Consequently, hope allows us to readjust our route to achieve our goals.  However whatever course we choose we must not turn back; for the darkness is behind us.

Mental Force

Finally, our goals set, the path laid out, now the question remains “Do we believe?”  Why should we trust in miracles? Hopelessness and depression is a significant predictor of suicide (O’Connor & Sheehy, 2000). Males are four times more likely to die from suicide than females (CDC 2004).  Numerous obstacles, barriers, and obstructions filter the path of a change agent. Nevertheless how we talk to ourselves becomes most importance. Hope provides the fuel to the little engine that say “I think I can”.  Do not turn back…tell yourself…“you can finish this.”


Depressed men live in cocooned hallow shells. Hope becomes one process to help supplement men in treating their depression. Yes, in fact depression is treatable. The cure of depression is effective 60 to 80% of the time (Stilson, 2006). Unfortunately men succeed in suicide more than women, in fact, 90% of people who committed suicide were depressed at the time (Stilson, 2006). Major depression is the psychiatric diagnosis most commonly associated with suicide (Rickelman & Houfek, 1995). Lifetime risk of suicide among patients with untreated depressive disorder is nearly 20% (Gotlib & Hammen, 2002).  The hope theory suggests a process to stave off depression and hopelessness.

The Invisible Dragon

Miles Davis

Daily Dragon’s Mantra. “Self-Mastery”


We predict with certainty an expert resided over hours of practice and training. Hence a virtuoso of piano suffocated in seclusion training her discipline.  In another instance, the skill surgeon stockpiled hours of due diligence to the smallest procedure. Without regards, external mastery skills requires long hours of hard work.

Yet religious and spiritual apprenticeship last but seconds. How one does believe mastery of self involves a ‘verbal slogan’ or membership to a sect implausible.  Nevertheless one may be assured mass gatherings expressing conversion in minutes disguise the ultimate reality.


There exist no ‘quick fixes’ to deconstructing the illusionary mind.  Heighten awareness occurs from isolation wedded to inflexible vocation alike the sharpshooter or ballerina. Please let us not be mystified, skilled inner awareness may require years of practice. Therefore, as a stern warning, those who profess quickness to a ‘new spirit’ should receive a cool reception.

The world is populated with quacks announcing their possessing “The Way”.   As a rule gimmicks, tricks, and aged-old witty dialogue are not avenues to deliverance. The secret is not hidden from view; self-cultivation requires hard work and resiliency.  To blossom, stay inside (You) and study.

The Invisible Dragon

Miles Davis

365 Tao Daily Meditations, entry 1

A fellow-blogger (The Rambling Taoist) provides so much information on Taoism. His ideas, and initiatives are plenty; I highly recommend subscribing to his site. Here is an ideal lifted from him with all due respect, it is something he does, I’m compelled to be guided.

365 Tao Daily Meditations, entry 1

“We must make a decision…a commitment to daily cultivation. We must make a strong connection to our inner selves…once we choose to commit ourselves to spiritual practice; even the mountains and valleys will reverberate to the sound of our purpose…”

(Personal Development)

Alone one must navigate self-cultivation. This faithful decision to recognize and accept personal strengths and weaknesses builds character and resiliency. Thus, to know thyself truthfully, remains a lofty accomplishments.  So, meditate daily upon your inner-self and develop an unmolested consciousness; unaffected by external circumstances.   “He who knows others is wise. He who knows himself is enlightened.” Lao Tzu

“People seem not to see that their opinion of the world is also a confession of character. ”
Ralph Waldo Emerson


The Invisible Dragon

You Must Find Your Own Way

1918172723_41189c747f I am fortunate to have viewed the world with a huge amount of skepticism as a child. For instance, Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and Tooth Fairy crumbled under my microscope of reality and truth. In fact, cynicism could be considered as the poverty I wrestled with as a child influenced my social development immensely, as well as, defined my every moment. As a result, the deficiency of life resources, (e.g., Monterey, social capital, education, morality) may not only defined my reality but also stained my future existence.

In any case, growing up I learn quickly not to trust, or shall I say, “Be Weary” of people, my survival hinged on my ability to process situations quickly. In other words, you believe whatever you desire and so will I. As such, my personal experiences for better or worse would be my guide and not other’s opinions or ideologies. Hence, however, I will not regress to explain the egotism that engulfed me; I will save it for another day. On the other hand, the self-dependence influenced my abilities to find my own way, it was not always pretty, but it proved invaluable.

How does one create the self-empowering traits to find their own way? I believe (3) three components eventually quantified certain attributes that enhances self-actualization.

(1) Know Thyself

Some refuse to believe their reality. The mirror tragically flawed with self-delusions and grandeur paints a silhouette of “Everything’s Ok.” Nevertheless, all the while, the spiritual anarchy we call life runs us in circles; we are never satisfied, our moments spent wishing Santa Claus or a similar figure save us. Know thyself and come to grips with your higher awareness, and also, accept and surrender the false assumptions that bind you.310642919_21c0a380c3

(2) Love Thyself

To experience self-love it must evolves through self-knowledge. We often hate what we believe possess a foreign identity; this creates mistrust, and deep-rooted fear. Regardless of status or accomplishments, self-hate destroys the inner being. Many cannot find happiness for they are looking for something not lost. To empower self-love one must find the ability to delve into the soul. This is a scary proposition for some; nevertheless, it must be an undertaking.

(3) Save Thyself

There will be no deliverance from you; God does not intervene in your self-hate. Thus, we confuse so much with allegiance to the philosophy of dependency. Many individuals will profess one must do the work to be saves from addiction, mis-education, or low-morality. This is not to say God does not save, however it is to say, I had to change my consciousness, which in turn change my poor habits. Save yourself…

To find your own way, one must be acute about self. In fact, self-knowledge is the foundation to discovering the bliss you seek. At the same time, self-love grows from this exercise of acceptance and surrender. As a result, we discard our pretentious role-playing and live life in balance. The only person, who can save you, is a real you.  You must find your own way.

The Invisible Dragon