Gods and Our Selfish Motives

433207_36c7I imagine we are all selfish for some acceptable reasons. My children garner my undivided loyalty protecting our communal relationship a reasonable cause.

As well, the relationship with my wife, I would not ransom her for the universe. And so, without wavering I refuse to compromise those relationships to secure the relationships of others. Am I alone in this predicament?

By the way, I demand total autonomy to follow my own spiritual intuition.  Freedom to be wrong, right, or insanely childish is a God-given right–would you not believe?

I want my God, my Way


I define my own existence.  I seldom desired following another person’s perceptions. Remarkably as a child I rebuked my Mother’s views on religion.  I steadfastly dismissed her demands to accept the formal practice of religion.  I wanted the freedom to create my own God, that is if a God needed to be created. A ravening freedom manic at conception; I did not want to be led.  Am I alone in this predicament?569396_5cde

Are we not ultimately coerced by family, culture, and tradition in selecting deities?  I proudly predict selections are self-interest rationales that suits personality, characteristics, and cultural norms more so than faith.

The Perfect Fit


We select Gods that best evoke our contentment. Our spiritual selections do not relinquish spiritual facts or unexplainable religious artifacts as proof of a deity. Not surprisingly, the Godly engagement, most likely occurred, while being guided by parents, prodded by friends or in your bedroom after a night of unprotected sex.

Some select Gods that resembles humans, statues, or silence space.   Ultimately, we select Gods who care about our well-being.  We desire a selfish God.  Do we not warrant those attractions? We desire deities, where if one does right, the deities does right by us. Did we not negotiate this deal for our obedience?   Are earthly happiness, acquisitions, and ever-lasting eternity our ill-gotten gains for keeping the faith?  I wonder Am I alone in this predicament?


The Invisible Dragon

A Spiritual Routine

dragon photo

When we are in what I refer as “Chase Mode,” (:the process of pursuing worldly dreams) often a personal spiritual base does not exist. Our perceptions of success askew, we amass an mis-identification of life’s values.

Unrelenting regimens to acquire more are rooted with self-serving activities. We are up early, bed late, pushing, shoving all in quest of an title, “I made it.” However, countless souls reached what believe to be a finish line only to be met with disqualification of spirit.


A life worth lived, a life worth shared

take life slow, do not press

let things unfold naturally

begin your day in spirit

rest often throughout

find beauty in the 10,000 things

live without bitterness


hold gentle mankind’s time

a slow moving stream

touching with kindness

walk under the moon

run on the grass

live in nature

as a beetle


Never rush to conflict

accept resolution,

forgive your secret mind

strengthen caring for others

there is no where to be

paradise rest where you are


Do you have a spiritual Routine? Have do you stay in balance?

The Invisible Dragon

Day 20, The Boy and the Preacher



Day 20,

The Boy and the Preacher,

a short story by robert williams


A small boy with a oversize head, stood up in a rowdy, rambunctious Baptist church one day and shouted, “This is phony.” The choir’s sounds of a marching band halted, holy spirits which had driven women into frenzies scattered for cover.  The well-dressed preacher jaw drop below his pockets.


Silence, eerily silence took over the church, one which come before storms.  Even the young sister who never seemed to shut up, was silent. The small boy did something no other would ever think to do, challenge the spirit of God; in church no hap.


As the paralysis of his proclamation diminished, the preacher slowly descended from his castle known as a pulpit.  The boy by now in the tightly gripped hands of church elders, still but flowing with emotions. A few slaps upon his head did not repel his mouth however, again with the stomp of his tiny foot,“This is phony.” Women shouted in tongues, inaudible as it was, the young boy heard preparation of a crucifixion.


Insuring his congregation repeatedly, as he approached the confident boy, “The devil sits among us, praise the Lord,” the preacher reassured his flock.  This was meaningful venom such as the kind southern whites had against Negroes, spilling onto the boy, “Get his behind out of here, throw him out, shut him up, the congregation shouted.”  Nevertheless, “This is Phony!” the boy repeated again and louder,” surely now the boy has fit his coffin.


The hotness of July heated the church alone with this child of the many faith-base converts. The volcano named, ‘Spoken Word of God’ has been erupted, by a boy with an oversize head and worn out shoes.  How could a preacher be pitted against one so small in stature, of puberty. The boy now adjusting his discolored shirt after each finger of the elders loosen, was all but 100 pounds.  At only eleven, he stared deliberately into the eyes of the preacher, without fear or caution, his head tilted back so far he nearly fell over.




What is your problem boy?

Where’s your Mother? “I come here with my sister, our momma send us, but I hate to come. Its phony, I told my Mother but she insist God will answer her prays. She’s lost, and so are you.” The preacher, desiring to slap the taunting pain in the ass asked, “Do you not believe in God?” “Mister, isn’t it obvious I don’t,” the boy use proper language when addressing elders, his Mother taught him that.


The preacher now smite recoils, “Tell us why you don’t believe in God, if you’re so smart,” the preacher figuring to make a fool of ‘boy’.


I have a better question the boy shot back, “Why do you believe?”  You take our money our Mother gives us, although we’re poor. By the way, ‘boy’ long since stop giving his 40 cents.  Now he simply hits the bottom of the basket with the false sound of coins being deposited. Subsequently, he did this to deceive his sister’s watchful eyes, she would tell when he kept the money and buy candy with it. His Mother would hear this and curse him undressed, “He would mumble silently under his tears, I hate that damn church.”


The boy’s gaps teeth voice, “Preacher you drive a Rose Royce, but my family has barely anything to eat, you’re a thief.” “Watch your mouth boy,” the preacher’s anger visible now. His car salesman’s smoothness lost quickly to a child, although a mouthy one. The boy’s reputation in his neighborhood, one of inquisitiveness, ‘Ghetto description,’ “He talk to damn much, always asking fucking questions.”


Now as would have it, his outrageous statement, “This is phony,” has stopped services of a reputable church and razor-sharp teeth of retribution gnaw at him. As the hungry mob edges more behind the preacher, for surly, a boy or not you don’t insult a pastor, nevertheless, his younger sister push in behind him.


“I”m Telling Momma”

He angered his young sister many times, often on purpose, but he always stands up for himself and her.  He never allow bullies to bring harm to her, and so she encourages him now. “Say what you want,” she yells at the top of her squeaky voice, “No ones going to do anything to you.”


“Shut the hell up, both of you,” the mob spits out.  Both understanding now knowing where exits are in a fire is so important, never will they complain as the practice exercise plays out in school. Consequently, her brother started a church fire, that will only be extinguish with their behinds. Neither however, feared the empty mob, they did however find the exit of their own accord.


Walking home, he wondered how his Mother’s going to whip him, extension cord or belt.   His sister hadn’t said a word since they left church, and he knew what that meant, “I can’t wait to tell momma what you did.” ‘Boy’ always question people this he did not fear, but the ass-whooping for questioning the preacher could be severe.  However, this was his fear, a Mother cursed-bitten believing she is cut off from her God, by her big-mouth ‘Boy’.


As their apartment came in view, his sister takes off, running so fast her plastic church fails about the sky, she didn’t bother to pick it up. Why?  Because, she had the news of the day and only she could deliver it. The confident footsteps of the boy slowing nearly to a halt now, hoping to run into friends to stall time, but he knows, its Sunday morning; everyone’s in church or sleep.

young girl running



“Whipping Hurt”

Before he enters the small second floor apartment, that holds five siblings, a dog and not much furniture, he wonders “How did I get myself into this one.”  As a rule, his sister never tells until both are in front of their Mother, this was her code of honor.  I guess she figured this was always the best impact for Mom to give it to ‘Boy.’ Often, he would think she would not tell and wham, hit walks into the room, “Mom, boy broke Ms. Smith window!”  Unfortunately, she always told on him, this he knew.


As a result, their mother with her beautiful smile, which will soon turn to scorn asked, “How was church, you guys back early?  The boy’s young sister hearing her cue comes running out her room, faster than usual, and blab, “Momma, boy did not put his money in the basket again!”

Mother cursed him undressed, “He mumble silently under his tears, I hate that damn church.”




written for the boy’s

younger sister Barbara Williams

Day 10, Love or Fear

A exploration of spiritual stillness, 30 day fast of reading, studying and practicing the 26th verse of Tao Te Ching. (Living Calmly) The month long spiritual exercise in accepting and being gracious for what lies ahead.  Being a avid hack writer, I’ll post 30 days consecutively, thoughts on “Being Content.” Poems, exercises, take-home assignments, etc.


Day 10, Love or Fear

A uncontentious mind lives with constant fear. Catastrophic preludes running a steady undercurrent which stagnates all spiritual growth. The fearful subconscious becomes adrenaline which drives us to spiritual instability.

We fear everything, losing jobs, relationships, health, God’s favor, our pets. Perceived enemies bring out the best in us, (We think) we erect mythical creatures, to do battle against.

Fear becomes comfortable, a right of passage. Without fear who would we be?  Everyone a potential purveyor of our demise, our personal executioner.

Life has two emotions all decisions are based from; Love or Fear.

A brief inventory of self-perspective would reveal

Fear of…


children suffering


going broke



not being Loved








etc, etc, etc


If we are to still the mind, we must find a new why to think, to chose. Unfortunately the spirituality of fear was embedded in us by trusted tutors.

Parents, ministers, pastors, teachers, guardians spread fear as an acceptable behavioral control method. Fear doesn’t work, it fragments the mind, breaking it up in small patches. Only you can break away from this antiquated form of control.

The strongest notion of fear remains the acceptance, “We must fear God.” This is a notion from man, man recreated God in his image. One with hate, gives love under certain conditions, unfair judgment, and eternal damnation.

How can you love, and the God of Love has those characteristics. You must choose your path, a path of love or fear.

Discover your spirituality without the narration of others, I have no guide, but let your experience be your teacher.

A content mind is void of fear,

"Be Happiness" right now, here’s how


“Be Happiness,” everyday.  Soar to new heights of Love and Joy with the sunrise. Empowered and positive from just being you, a positive magnet of Love: for the universe only send what you send it.

Your heart and mind cradling thoughts of sharing, giving, and forgiving. Not seeking to control anyone or anything, you are in perfect balance with the creator.

Be hope and faith, your stewardship, the best witness to the power of spirituality. For who walked your road better then you?

Release the desire to strive, to be the best, for one never will arrive at such a place. Where you are right now will always be, so “Be Contentment.”

Share company likewise with caring people, who desire not strife, anger and hate, for surely we are far from God with those thoughts. Be a gather of people, not a divider.

Find acceptance, and peace will be your God. Travel inside, so your days may be long and plentiful. Make no one your enemy, for when you have an enemy, you have yourself.

Fear comes from a unfaithful mind. Not truly a believer, one makes companion with turmoil, not trusting in the Great Way.

Seeking out other fallen angels for company, never seeing the good in all of God’s creation.  Relinquish a dark mind, relinquish your dark days.


“5 Be Happiness Steps”


Be your own Moral Authority

Trust in your wisdom and common sense. Follow your reasoning, and you’ll find your way. Others may have a different agenda for you, so be vigilant, trust God; which resides in your heart.


Build a Wisdom Map

Gather your life experiences, study them and make a positive wisdom map. Your best experience is your best teacher, leader and master. Trust your life that it may guide you, needing no interference from others. If you are angry all the time, you built the wrong map.


Release desire to control anyone or anything

Rest chronic pain and despair by allowing others the freedom to choose their way. A tornado of pain can subside by understanding “you are not God,” guide people to themselves and they will find their way to home.


Trust Tao will provide in due time

The Sun never doubts the moon, as rain never doubts dryness. All situations change, change is the only constant to have faith in. God is Change. Faith is God. Be content where you are, for God has you there for a reason.


Be Honest

No factor is more important to “Be Happiness” then honesty. When we deceive ourselves, we imprison our heart. A constant Broadway performance that the curtain will eventually come down on. No greater wall has been erected between God and us, then the one who can not look in the mirror.


I hope that this personal reflection on “Be Happiness” helps support your journey to self-discovery and spiritual growth. If you have ideals on positive steps you employ tell us about them, you never know who it may save.